Trust Me. Just Fall.
‘Come to me. Let me catch you. Trust me. Just fall.’ That’s what the raven says. I cannot. I will not. I must not.
This spell holds me, like it has done for so long. A life-long hypnosis that binds me to him,whatever monster he is, my master. He says; ‘Follow this path. Be a good little girl. Be sweet. Be oh-so-innocent. But most of all obey.’ He licks his frosty lips. He knows exactly what he does to me. I see myself through his eyes; small, fragile, just one chip away from broken.
He taunts me daily, driving the fear deeper into my veins. My weakness sickens me. He whispers a threat into my ear: ‘Take one small step off this path and you will fall. You know what happens when you fall. They will take you once again. You will be consumed by the darkness and you don’t want that to happen again my dear.’
For so long I have been good. I have been sweet. I have obeyed. Yes, I know what happens when I fall. Yet, I cannot do this anymore. The darkness calls to me. I take my eyes off the path and I plunge myself into his embrace. I let him consume me. I let him take me once again. I am not innocent. I am wrong. I have disobeyed, and, I am a prisoner of another.
Locked in my self-imposed cage, my spirit rages. I cannot do this again. Why have I let this happen again? The darkness laughs: he is so cold, so imposing, so chaotic and yet so tempting. I crave him. I turn my back to him, holding my knees to my bare chest, shivering with shame. He turns away from me, licking his lips as he walks away he sneers; ‘I’ll be seeing you again. You’ll always be mine, my dear’.
Every night the darkness returns. He has taken everything from me. Almost everything. For too long, I have been silent. For too long I have feared him. For too long I have feared everyone. For too long have I feared myself. I have feared my own freedom.
At midnight, I wait for the raven’s call, I hear his hoarse voice, ‘Come to me. Let me catch you. Trust me. Just fall.’
I take one step. Eyes wide open. I take one more step. I stare at the darkness. I turn away. On the third step, I do it. I fall. The wind caresses my skin, it rushes through my hair, I fly. I do not belong to the master, to the darkness, I do not walk the path they tell me to. I do not belong to anyone. I am freedom.
I am the raven.
Copyright Grace Owen 2017.